Hey Y'all
If you didn't know, I am a wife and a mom of 2 fully grown little people ( 11 months & 2 years).
Now you know!
Man, the responsibility of being a parent had me reading every book, watching every youtube video, and asking all the questions. I did not want to get it wrong, I did not want to "mess up". I was so excited but at the same time fearful of becoming a parent because:
I knew/know that I have character flaws.
I had a beautiful yet traumatic childhood.
I don't have a great relationship with my mom and I don't know my dad.
etc.etc.
So, logically how could I be a great parent when I didn't have the foundations for it. I had to fix myself before my child came, I had to. I thought fixing myself was reading all these books, asking all these questions, and listening to all the videos. But the truth is, doing all of that can be compared to:
A middle school boy who is funky after gym class and empties a whole bottle of axe to hide the funk.
Refusing to shampoo your hair and only co-washing ** don't cancel me yall*
Pride
Truth is, and remains, that:
Trying to hide the funk of my trauma & flaws with this information about parenting without first making room by presenting myself to God as a living sacrifice to be washed clean & renewed through repentance, forgiveness, and accountability. The sweet aroma of this info was not going to be the only smell exuding from my person . The remnants of my former self were going to eventual resurface.
In order for me to be a righteous & holy parent I had to at least be willing to forsake everything I knew to be true about parenting. I had to allow myself to be stripped down and become a "foolish" parent to be made wise and presented renewed by obtaining the mind of Christ. This is not a one-time thing for me I promise you it is every single decision I make on behalf of my family. Just because it was done to me doesn't mean I have to continue it. Just because an expectation is put on me to continue certain practices does not mean I have to continue it unless directly ordered by the Lord however he chooses to communicate that.
I was so focused on me and what I could or could not offer that I neglected to realize that I cannot give anything I don't have. But with the power of the HOLY GHOST living in me, I have everything I need, I can move mountains. I can disciple my children in a way that is pleasing to God. BUT that will require my obedience and for me to submit ( sub- beneath, below; Mit- to send: submit - send under ) to the authority, dominion, and power of God.
I had to organize my, "Why I wouldn't be a good parent list", for this one:
I am a good parent because He, God, is my parent and is perfect in all His ways.
I had to understand that he strategically crafted my life, my path, and my purpose. As He so graciously allowed me to be a parent, He would not lead me where he did not already go to make room for me. The Holy Ghost, is a teacher and will teach me in the ways that I should go. His grace, His mercy, and the gift of repentance will keep me. So I can parent with courage, confidence, and authority.
I am not saying that I can ignore my character flaws and ignore the trauma of my childhood. But I am saying that those things are not a surprise for my God. As I come to the knowledge of my faults, I will seek Him and he will provide for me healing in whatever form that is.
Like Adam & Eve, there are consequences for our actions, so work has to be done, in whatever way that looks like, but your right is your right. Gone head and disciple them kids.
** Disclaimer: Results may vary for the look of discipleship for our littles but outcome is the same.
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